Echoes
by Gavr3el
Summary: The events of the Dark Tournament's final battles left the only surviving member of Team Toguro gripped within an internal struggle with himself and weighed down by the choice of living onward or dying by his own hands. Even four years after the Dark Tournament's end, four years of living in isolation, Bui still struggles to figure out why he made the compulsive choice he did...


Dis/claimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho—I never have and never will obtain monetary profit from writing fanfiction. However, the plot and any poetry or OCs or art are mine to claim if I create them for this fic.

Tentative, temporary summary: The events of the Dark Tournament's final battles left the only surviving member of Team Toguro gripped within an internal struggle with himself and weighed down by the choice of living onward or dying by his own hands. Even four years after the Dark Tournament's end, four years of living in isolation, Bui still struggles to figure out why he made the compulsive choice he did and why a strange memento from his battle with Hiei, a torn piece of cloth, brings him comfort. But all periods of isolation at some point must come to an end, and sometimes the _whys_ of things don't even matter. Sometimes it just is the way it is, and Bui will spend a long, long journey coming to accept that truth…

Warning(s): Angst. Post-anime continuation of a sort. Shounen ai…maybe eventual yaoi...or at least lime-ish. Eventual Bui/Hiei…and I mean _eventual..._ like way-far-into-the-future-of-the-fic eventual. The issue of suicide. This fic is likely to have a dark, heavy tone at points. Psychological, introspective. And I will add more warning(s) as the need arises. Also, I will not give any promises on this fic…except that eventually I will finish it. I don't know how long it will be, nor do I have much idea what it will look like by the story's end.

Planned Overall Rating: M

Author's notes: I'm not too sure what to mention notes-wise, but I'll try to be as succinct as possible (haha _try_ ). This fic was started for my YuYear Day 7 prompt, desolation. I had to go back to the anime to find some insight and inspiration for a Hiei/Bui piece. It occurred to me that when Bui asked him to kill him and Hiei refused and told him to do it himself, if he wanted to so bad, that we never really saw Bui's choice, not really. I suppose this fic, in part, is my way of exploring the possibilities of that. It _is_ shown in the manga that Bui watched the fight between Yusuke and Toguro. And there's nothing canon of Bui after that. I endeavor to also provide Bui with a deeper back story and…I will delve deeper into how he might've gotten caught up with Toguro. I like Bui…always have…and though we did not get to see a whole lot of him...I wish to present him with depth. It is rare that others deal with him and his character in fanworks, and even rarer still to tackle Hiei/Bui. I make no promises that this will be amazing or whatever. I make no promises you will like it or want to continue reading it or what have you… but I'm doing this for myself and for what I see in Bui's character. I don't care about much else in sharing this. Like it, hate it, whatever.

* * *

 _ **Echoes**_  
Chapter I  
by Yo (dragonheart-butterflysoul at tumblr)  
Written on 2/4/17; Word count (for this chapter) at about 960 words

* * *

 _Every person has an intrinsic responsibility for their own life…_ ~Dr. Bedelia du Maurier, in Hannibal, Season 1, Episode 8, Fromage

* * *

Dark eyes lingered on the edge of a small piece of black cloth, fisted in a huge, tan hand. Dark eyes hazed in recollection of turbulent, life altering memories. The small piece of black cloth was both a reminder of that time and, perhaps, _now_ four years later, his most treasured possession—the cloth was a torn piece of his opponent's clothing that _somehow_ survived the violence and wreckage of their battle. He found it lying right beside him in the place where he'd fallen broken and faced utter defeat at the hands of yet another powerful enemy.

 _Kill me_ , Bui begged, but had been ruthlessly, coldly denied, for the wielder of the Dragon of the Darkness Flame had told him, _If you want to die, kill yourself_.

Bui would've done just that, _was going to do just that_ , after he watched Yusuke Urameshi's fight with Toguro…because one way or another he _would_ have closure over Toguro…the demon-human who'd taken _everything_ from him…countless years of his life, his freedom, his pride, his strength… _the love of his life_.

Bui had every intention of dying after that fight, even up until the point of Toguro's defeat and the start of the stadium's detonation…even up until those final few minutes. He could've just blown up with Sakyo…but he'd glanced down at the piece of torn cloth, much like he was doing in the present moment, and was overwhelmed by the bizarre compulsion to _move_. To _survive_.

And Bui did move from the high, shadowy place he hid himself in the stadium's stands to watch the final match of the Dark Tournament. He'd powered up and flew skyward just in time to feel the blazing heat of the explosion beneath him. He had no idea why he moved away from certain death. He _still_ didn't know why he chose life over death in that moment…

Bui remembered the way he'd just lied there as Hiei walked away from him…leaving him in a heap…a husk of himself. Whatever Toguro hadn't killed inside him, that fight and consequential defeat _did_. He hadn't lied about the utter pointlessness over everything he felt…the complete desolation. Bui had turned his head to the side, and his eyes landed on that abandoned, ripped, black, somehow not incinerated piece of cloth, perhaps, from Hiei's shirt, and he reached for it with the little bit of strength he had left, holding it to his chest as his eyes fell closed. He couldn't have known then the strange sense of comfort that piece of cloth would come to bring him.

Bui had opened his eyes a few hours later, still holding the cloth to his body, in the chilled dimness of Team Toguro's waiting room. He'd been hastily bandaged, patched up. By the Tournament's medics, he supposed. They'd probably carried him back to the room on a stretcher and left him once they did their work and determined he would live—it was peculiar to him that he hadn't been _more_ damaged after his battle with the dragon wielder. But it _wasn't_ odd to find himself alone there in that room.

Kurasu was dead at the fox demon's hands—and there was no _love_ in him for the creature to feel a sense of mourning. The younger Toguro was apparently transporting, on his back, the old stadium ring from the semi-finals, so the finals could continue, considering he and Hiei had destroyed the ring in _their_ battle—or that's what the female announcer had been saying over the speakers anyway, which hadn't surprised him either. And Bui was _glad_ he hadn't woken up to find the creepy Elder Toguro next to him. Figured the cretin was somewhere waiting on, if not actually with, his brother to return, maybe even with the team owner Sakyo…or maybe tormenting the remaining members of Team Urameshi somehow. Whatever the elder brother was doing he was grateful the man wasn't anywhere near him. Bui never considered them a _team_ anyway. Slaves, masters, and the cutthroat, greedy, gambling addicted businessman who owned them. That's what Team Toguro was.

Actually, it was rather surprising that the Toguro brothers had left him alive after his shameful defeat at Hiei's hands. Maybe, they thought he'd off himself…or maybe they didn't care about a worthless waste of space…or maybe they planned to kill him after the tournament's end. At that point in time Bui didn't care about what they might or might not do. Didn't have the energy in him for worry…

Bui had determined he had about three hours until the third fight…he wouldn't go to watch it because he knew it wouldn't be Toguro and Urameshi. That one would be saved for last. Bui just continued to lie there in the cold dark of the room until the final battle, clinging to that torn piece of cloth and trying not to think of much else in the resounding, empty silence as he waited for his closure…

Bui's dark eyes blinked at the sudden sound of knocking on the front door of his hut—a sound that brought him fully rushing back to the present. The sound, for some reason, set his heart racing in anxiety. The clenched hand holding the piece of cloth fell to his side, but not letting it go, as he stood up. A long, thick, tightly bound braid of his light blue hair fell heavy down his broad back. He just continued to stand in place, wishing for the knocking to stop, for the intrusion to disappear.

How the hell was he found anyway? He'd gone to great lengths to hide himself away…taking a page out of Genkai's book and committing the rest of his life to being a hermit.

"Bui? It's Kurama. I know you're inside. I can smell you."

* * *

 _To be continued…_


End file.
